Anger is bad, and socially unacceptable. It is hard to escape. If you’ve ever been guilty of an ‘outburst’ at work, or at your child, it’s likely that you’ve failed to control your emotions. Research shows us that high-performers experience and harness their full spectrum of emotions, including anger to find success and achieve their objectives.
By harnessing the positive power of anger, successful people are more focused, more assertive and more confident. Successful people deal with anger by cultivating a high emotional IQ through success-breeding habits, routines and practices like these.
Follow these methods to use the positive power of your anger:
Accept that you are angry :
When you recognise anger as an essential and necessary emotion, you stop being afraid of it. Only when you’re no longer afraid of it can you start managing its manifestations. Fear breeds defensive thoughts and behaviours, but when you embrace something, you put yourself in charge. Being in charge of your anger allows you to express it constructively.
Focus on yourself :
Most people experiencing anger talk in ‘you’ statements like “you are making me late” or “you still haven’t finished the report that was due this morning.” This type of language naturally makes other people defensive and less likely to want to help you out. Try these instead: “I don’t like to be late, it reflects poorly on our team” and “I really need that report, is there anything I can do to help.”
Avoid negative self-talk :
There’s nothing wrong with being self critical, but when your negative self-talk holds you back from personal, emotional and professional growth you need to act. When you embrace your imperfections you’re more likely to think about how to improve, rather than what’s ‘wrong’ with you, which over a long period of time, can lead to stress and depression. Take a more positive and constructive view of yourself and you’ll achieve more and be happier.
Focus on the problem, not on the person :
If someone’s done wrong by you it’s likely they didn’t mean it so lighten up! Accidents and mistakes happen everyday and while it’s easy to blame, getting angry at the person you believe responsible is not going to fix the problem.
Don't hold a grudge :
Holding a grudge doesn’t achieve anything. Moreover, it takes energy and effort to hold something against someone which over time, wears you down and contaminates your mind, leading to a negative world view. Let it go.
Don't send an email when you are angry :
The way you communicate with people at work can impact your future career prospects, and email is a permanent record of your communication with the potential to make or break a career. Anger impairs your judgement, which can lead you to write something in an email that you wouldn’t when you’re in a better frame of mind. If you need to write something, draft an email with an empty ‘To:’ field, save the email as a draft and look at it again tomorrow.
Meditation can help you deal with stress and anxiety which are precursors to anger. Regular meditation regulates levels of cortisol, a hormone released during times of stress. It also boosts serotonin, a so-called ‘feel good’ hormone that balances your emotions and can make you more aware of your feelings.
It’s widely recognised that regular exercise boosts energy levels and aids focus. Researchers have also found that it can help you manage your anger. Regular exercise dissipates feelings of anger and reduces the risk of it bubbling to the surface. So, get running.
Keep a journal :
Keeping a journal is an alternative and healthy outlet of your emotions, including anger. A journal is a great place to get your thoughts, feelings, ideas and emotions out without the risk of hurting anyone and without fear of judgement.